At Queen’s College, Forces families are an important and valued part of our community. As a school community, we believe it is important to share and better understand the experiences that shape the lives of different families within the College. For military families, deployment can be a profound shift in a child’s world, and within our boarding community, we work hard to ensure that no child feels they are navigating that experience alone.

We understand that when a parent wears a uniform, the whole family serves. Care begins the moment a deployment is on the horizon, with our school-wide pastoral system updated to reflect the change in circumstances. This ensures every member of staff, from subject teachers and Form Tutors to Houseparents and support staff, are informed and aware. We follow this with direct conversations between the boarding house and those in closer daily contact with the child. This “wraparound” awareness is important because we recognise that the stress of a parent’s absence manifests in different ways: a sudden lapse in concentration, erratic behaviour, or uncharacteristic quietness.

To provide structured support, we use the Emotional Cycle of Deployment. By recognising the distinct phases, from the tension of pre-deployment to the “new normal” of when the parent is away from home, we can adjust our level of support accordingly. We aren’t simply here to oversee routines alone; we are here to provide consistency, reassurance, and a steadying hand when life feels unsettled.

Each child has trusted adults around them within their boarding house for regular, informal check-ins. If a more formal “safe space” is required, our dedicated Wellbeing Centre offers professional emotional support. However, much of our strength lies in the everyday culture of the school itself. Our values of Kindness, Community, and Respect are not simply words on a wall; they are the blueprint for a safe, secure home where it is okay to miss a parent, but where life continues with friendship, structure, and plenty of healthy distractions.

Just as importantly, we see supporting parents as part of caring for the child. Open communication between home and school matters enormously during periods of deployment, and we want Forces families to feel understood, supported, and connected throughout.

For many families in our community, military life brings both pride and challenge in equal measure. By sharing experiences openly, we hope to give all parents a greater understanding of the realities of deployment and the resilience it asks of children and families alike. At Queen’s, we are one community, and understanding one another’s experiences is an important part of that.

By Henry Burlingham
Cotlake House Parent
Queen’s College